Wake up, Mommy... you're missing out!

I can't remember the last time I jumped up and down and just went crazy... okay; maybe it was the night we couldn't get tickets to see the Dead and ended up in a parking lot near CNN eating kind grilled cheese sandwiches, but that really doesn't count due to a controlled substance that caused us to get a wee bit out of control on that particular evening. Aside from that, I can't recall ever feeling as carefree and ecstatic as my darling little girl seems to be on any given day. Oh, what I wouldn't give...

In the hype of reality, we often loose touch with exactly that: reality. We forget to dance, smile, laugh and enjoy the moments as they stare us down--right in the face, literally! My husband and I have had an exceptionally difficult and frustrating financial struggle for what has turned into five years now. Some days we wake up hopeful, other days we wake up discouraged or worse yet, just plain beaten down. But we keep waking up, and we keep trying to find our way, even through the madness of our own daunting reality. This morning; however, we finally got on the same page. "It's been a long time coming," I thought, "but we're finally ready to get this party started." Though our hilarious and silly little girl seems unscathed by our mental absence, I know I've personally missed out on a lot of great opportunities with her... and those are moments I'll never get back.

The road ahead seems a little more manageable today. It's as if a landscaping crew snuck in while we were sleeping and cleared out all the weeds and debris. If I squint just a little, I can actually see the signs for the first time in a very long time: "Keep off the grass!" So simple, but at least I finally know what it means. Isla and I were supposed to have a play-date today. I know she's going to be disappointed, but I have big plans... not quite sure what they are yet, but rest assured, they will include a mother that is fully present and a child that is ready to be acknowledged--both of which who are truly happy to have the other. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't get much better than that; unless, of course, we win the lottery... in which case, I will be jumping up and down.